Purging while Pregnant

I'm so ashamed.

I know it's stupid, but yet I try to justify it. 

I've been purging sometimes.

And I'm pregnant.

I don't know why I do it, but it scares me. I'm so scared of gaining more weight.  I've been restricting to slow down my weight gain.  I gained over 15 pounds in the first 10 weeks and in order to stop that continuum, I've either restricted or exercised for hours. 

Is this what I've become?  One of those moms who puts herself before the health of ther child?

I love this baby, but God help me.