Almost.

I almost purged last night.

Almost.

I went on a date with my husband, ate a lot of yummy food and saw a lame movie.

As we were coming home, we got in a little fight.  It was ridiculous.  I can't even remember what started our disagreement, but soon we were one hundred topics in, digging deep to insult.  I'm sure most couples can relate.  You don't really know how or why you got there, but you're in a mess suddenly.

When we got home I was upset and stressed and my tummy was full.

In order to have control over a situation in which I felt I had no or very little control, I thought long and hard about purging. 

My thoughts went round and round for two hours in this repeptitive cycle:

I don't like feeling overly full.
I don't like fighting.
I don't like our date night being a fail.
I don't like feeling out of control.
I don't like being so fat.
What can I do to remedy this?
I have to deal with this.
I have to get rid of what started all this.
I must purge.
I hate purging.
I can't go back to that.

But I hate being so full... Repeat cycle.


Thank God, I didn't do it.   It's been 15 months since I've purged.