My festivities included a waterpark (in which I actually wore my bikini and didn't wear something over it to cover up!), many barbeques, s'mores, manning a family rummage sale (and making some nice cash), going tubing down the river with my girls (which included way too much drinking, smoking, laughing, and sunburn), eating pizza at a restaurant right on the lake, getting ice cream, church, a wedding, more food, tubing behind a boat, kayaking, swimming, and going on an airplane ride in my dad's float plane.
It was great, even though I had a major party/weekend hangover.
Many times this weekend, I was reminded of summer's past, when I wouldn't let anyone see me in a bikini, or when I didn't eat regular ice cream but fat free frozen yogurt instead, or refused a s'more, or restricted water on hot days for fear of weight gain.
It feels so good to be free and not worrying about all that! I totally gained weight this weekend, but I'm confident that my body will self-regulate now that I'm sort of back into my regular routine!
While I was reminiscing this weekend, I was thinking about our nation's freedom, which spurred thoughts on the cost of freedom. That thought resonated within me.....
my freedom from anorexia has cost a lot, but this is the better life!
I hope you all had a fantabulous holiday weekend!
3 comments:
this reminds me so much of how I am feeling right now. Grilling seems to always remind me of how far I have caome. Last week we had hamburgers and I just sat there chewing and thinking "its so nice to eat the bun. Its so great to not be watching everyone else eat theirs with a bun and not be trying to convince myself that eating my patty with a fork and knife is just as great". Whe I get tempted to go back to my Ed, I just think of how hard-won these accomlishments, such as ice cream instead of FF yogurt, are. Why would I ever want to go back after I worked so hard to get here?
Anyways, I was just excited to share in your joy. So many recovery sites would read like "I did manage to eatthe hamburger with the bun, and now I am freaking out and I feel fat blah blah blah." I do NOT criticize people in that faze of recovery, indeed they are fighting a brave fight. But if thats all the farther they make it,they will never experience the joy and freedom of recovery. Thank you for sharing that in your blog; it gives people hope :)
p.s. please excuse all the typos and misspelled words. I am on vicodin at the moment;)
No problem about the typos, I do that while on my computer. :) I'm glad that you stopped by and said hi!
I really do try to be honest in my posts, which for me means eating an entire burger(or two) and while having little smidges of ED thoughts. Like you, I'm so gladto be on the other side!
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