3 years of recovery

Today is a very special day for me. Today marks 3 years in recovery! I couldn't be more proud of myself right now.

To celebrate this morning, I had a piece of cake and coffee with lots of cream and sugar, and no guilt. That was the best.

Life is good. I didn't know if it was possible for anyone to be in recovery for 3 years, let alone me.

I am living proof.

I guess I am different

A couple of years ago, when my anorexia was at it worst, I spent some time participating in research studies for which I was compensated.

This research has kept my information on hand, and will periodically ask me to participate in another study.

They don't take just anyone who says thay have an ED in this study. First, you can to pass the initial phone interview. If you pass that, you meet with a counselor and asnwer questions. You then have a physical with a medical doctor, deeming you sick. After that, you have to go through a long physcological evaluation, in which your results are analyzed. Then, they contact you and let you know if you "made it".

I've never been denied participation in a study. They only take a select few.

A few weeks ago, they called again. This one was for people who are low weight and purging.

They proceeded with the phone screen, and after they asked all the questions, they told me I didn't qualify.

Ouch.

I know that is a good thing. But at that moment, I didn't feel that good. They told me I'm not qualified because I don't purge.

I guess I am really different now.

Everything changes

I'm coming up on my three year recovery anniversary. I am excited and at a pretty good place in life. Do I struggle some days? Yes. Am I still in recovery? Yes.

I am doing the best I've done in about 6 years.

That's amazing.

I haven't purged in about 10 months. Something I once thought was impossible.

I love my new life and have hope that others can live in victory, right alongside me.