Today is an important day.
It's almost better than my birthday. After all, itt's not unusual to have a birthday; to gain life. Everyone has a birthday. What's unusual is to fight for that life from the grip of an eating disorder and do it successfully for five years. Not everyone does that.
It was five years ago today that I sat in my living room, sick from the flu. As I slowly walked back to my couch from a trip to the bathroom, which took all my strength, I felt release. I cannot describe, with words, what happened. It was something supernatural. God spoke to me that it was all over.
"It's over." It was nearly audible.
And that was it. It was over. Hell was gone.
I gorged on rice cakes the rest of the day.
It took me over a year to get to a healthy enough weight to sustain a pregnancy. I wasn't restricting or binging and purging. I just took things slowly. After all, recovery was physically difficult and taxing on my body.
Today, I celebrate on the interwebs, with people whom I've never met. My husband stands by my side and cheers me on.
But every other person I encounter today, has no idea the significance of this day or the joy I feel inside.
What an accomplishment. It IS possible. I never believed it before. But you CAN recover from anorexia or bulimia.
After all, I am walking, living, breathing proof. And more than just a life, I have a happy, content, peaceful, grateful one at that.
Thank God.
It's almost better than my birthday. After all, itt's not unusual to have a birthday; to gain life. Everyone has a birthday. What's unusual is to fight for that life from the grip of an eating disorder and do it successfully for five years. Not everyone does that.
It was five years ago today that I sat in my living room, sick from the flu. As I slowly walked back to my couch from a trip to the bathroom, which took all my strength, I felt release. I cannot describe, with words, what happened. It was something supernatural. God spoke to me that it was all over.
"It's over." It was nearly audible.
And that was it. It was over. Hell was gone.
I gorged on rice cakes the rest of the day.
It took me over a year to get to a healthy enough weight to sustain a pregnancy. I wasn't restricting or binging and purging. I just took things slowly. After all, recovery was physically difficult and taxing on my body.
Today, I celebrate on the interwebs, with people whom I've never met. My husband stands by my side and cheers me on.
But every other person I encounter today, has no idea the significance of this day or the joy I feel inside.
What an accomplishment. It IS possible. I never believed it before. But you CAN recover from anorexia or bulimia.
After all, I am walking, living, breathing proof. And more than just a life, I have a happy, content, peaceful, grateful one at that.
Thank God.
