You are not invisible

I heard a song today and it brought back intense memories.  So intense and vivid that I could imagine my old anorexic self listening to this song on repeat and crying, begging, pleading for a way out.  Crying for help. 
The song is called 'Invisible' by Skylar Grey.

To all those that listen to this song and feel invisible right now, you're not.  Someone sees you.  Someone knows you.  Someone loves you. 

JUST AS YOU ARE - your flaws and your beauty.

There is so much hope for you!  How do I know? 

My body is covered in scars from cutting, my teeth are rotten from purging, my head sometimes spins with thoughts of starving myself, but yet, those are things really are in the past.  They are pieces of my past which seemed impossible to ever overcome. 

But yet, I did overcome.  I do overcome.

So can you.

Progress Update

It's been over 3 weeks since I begged for help gaining weight, counted calories in defeat and a little over 2 weeks since I vowed to quit smoking.

I'm happy to report that both have been successful!

I've sat around quite a bit and have ate and ate and ate and gained about 5 pounds!  Woohoo! 

I also have been mostly smoke-free (except when I went out with some girlfriends a week ago - which is fine, I just can't buy them or have them in my possession) and I'm sure that has helped a bit with my weight gain. 

I've purposely sat and read instead of clean or made an extra dessert or two and made sure to have at least dinners nightly. 

I'm not sure I've ever had so much butter my entire life!

I'm still working very hard to keep it on, but I think I'm headed the right direction.

Now, it's time to get pregnant!